This just in: The economic crisis sucks!Sure I heard people complaining about it and saying how bad it was for people in finance and banking and the like, but I was pretty sure it wasn't actually going to affect me. I thought it was just another one of those doom and gloom stories like the 'Bird Flu' scare where the media make out the world is ending and we're heading for a post-apocolyptic Terminator style future... but then it turns out to be dissapointingly boring and there are no explosions and I have to carry on doing my work as opposed to wearing a vest and throwing grenades.
I mean everyone would be losing money at the same rate right? Sure you'll get poor but then so will everyone else... Sure the value of your house will drop but then if you buy any others they'll be cheaper too... And then when the economy rights itself again (hopefully thanks to Super-Obama!) everyone will be back to square one. The media weren't helping by scare mongering as that was what was causing the problem in the first place. If only I'd written this article sooner we could have avoided this whole sordid affair... I'm the boy who could have saved the world...
People, here me: there will almost certainly be no explosions and definitely no killer robots. Boring I know. Calm down and buy stuff (preferably my e-book...)
But then the severity of the issue hit home - one of the advertisers on the Biomatrix.net went bankrput and so (understandably) stopped advertising on the site... Shitty Man Nipples...
That's 10 pounds a month I'm losing! That ten pounds was a night out for me here in Surrey, and with Tuna Paste prices soaring I can barely afford to eat. The other day I had to buy Tesco value mayonaise!! It tasted like rabbit sperm!!
Maybe I was hasty in my nonchalance... Maybe the end is infact nigh... Maybe the T-100s are coming... My laptop has actually already started rebelling.
So I am making preparations for the apocalypse. Being the forward thinking transhumanist editor of the Biomatrix.net I of course have a solution... I am creating a free talking avatar!
Bet you didn't see that coming. You see according to Martine Rothblatt, this is the first baby-step toward uploading a consciousness (the eventual goal of many transhumaists).
It's kind of like facebook but with a 3D image of yourself that learns to behave like you do. This actually works better than I expected and your avatar includes a photo of your face and you can talk to the AI (it speaks out loud). It gets some of its information from personality tests you do etc. I wouldn't say mine is indistinguishable from me but it's certainly worth checking out...
Then at the same time you can document your life experiences for all to see... a kind of personal time capsule.
So when the inevitable economic end results in the break down of society, and you die of the resultant bird flu and robot invasion, at least you will live on in a way online. Imortalised in cyberspace. Sure, it's not quite as good as not dying... or even actual mind uploading... but then again it is charming in its own way.
Read a fuller article here: http://www.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/custom/today/bal-to.rothblatt18nov18,0,1422693.story
Or check out the actual thing here: http://www.lifenaut.com/
Well that was a bit of a ramble... I'm in a pretty dark mood today... At least it was kind of topical.
